My Cancer Scar

Some people have been requesting more information about my cancer journey. So, I have decided to write about a new topic: my cancer scar.

You can't really see my scar that well from this lighting, but trust me it's there!

When I was first told that I had to do chemotherapy I was given two choices for how to receive my chemo: through an IV or having a port placed in my chest. The IV wouldn’t require any surgery but the chemo could damage my blood vessels. I wanted my twelve weeks of chemo done ASAP so I rushed into it and decided I would get a port placed if I had any issues. Sure enough, after one of my surgeries I had a huge bruise on my arm from the IV so I decided it was time for the port.

During the decision making process I was told that I might have a scar from my surgery. The day of my surgery I told the resident that when we went over my risks together. He told me “oh no, it will just be like a pencil line that you will hardly notice.” Yeah. Right. I don’t really mind the scar its just frustrating that I was misinformed the day of my surgery which leads me to believe either I wasn’t stitched up properly or the resident who performed my surgery didn’t really know what he was talking about. Either way, I still get frustrated when I think about it.

I really didn’t like having a port. It stuck out of my chest and it felt unnatural to have something like that in my chest, like I was a robot or maybe a badass Terminator. On the bright side, it did lead to some pretty funny awkward conversations. “What is that?”… “That’s… where my… chemo goes…” haha. And it was much more comfortable to have the chemo go in through my port than to have it go in through my IV.

For a while I had sort of a love-hate relationship with my scar. Some days I hated it, but not for esthetic reasons. I hated it because it was like I couldn’t escape my cancer, every time I looked in the mirror I had a reminder of my cancer. My scar is in a very visible place, you can see it when I wear a shirt, so it is not one of those scars you can easily hide. Still this wasn’t a huge issue, because many things reminded me of my cancer. It’s hard to get away from cancer once you’ve had it. For example, every time I saw someone smoking, especially someone my age, I wanted to scream “what the hell are you thinking?! I’m 23 and I have already had cancer and I didn’t do anything wrong!” Okay… it was much more explicit in my head. (I always ate really healthy, exercised and hardly ever drank alcohol.) But I know people have to make their own choices in life and my getting on a soapbox wouldn’t help anything.

            In weird way I sometimes loved my scar because it reminded me of my cancer. It’s… strange to go from the trauma of dealing with the cancer everyday to just trying to heal and recover by yourself. So, sometimes it was nice to have a reminder of what I went through and how I am stronger because of it. I am a different person now because of my cancer. I appreciate life more. I try not to let the little things in life bother me anymore, because in big scheme of things those little life "stressors" that used to stress me out don’t matter. I also appreciate the people around me more and I find it easier for me to share my affection with them. Therefore, it is sometimes nice to have the reminder of my cancer.

"Skinny Mint" Chocolate Milkshake

                      “Skinny Mint” Chocolate Milkshake

1/3 cup Soymilk (33 cal)

2/3 cup water

8 ice cubes

1 packet chocolate Shakeology (150 cal)

½ tsp peppermint extract

Optional: add in some Greek yogurt for a protein and a creamier shake!

A delicious, nutrient-packed breakfast for less than 200 calories!

For more information on Shakeology click here! 

Why do I LOVE Shakeology? Because it has helped me reduce my cravings for sweets and it gives me the nutrients my body needs without eating a big bowl of salad for breakfast!

Coming Home

I had a great trip but it was so nice to come home to:

A clean house.

And my first Beachbody check! I love getting paid to help others achieve their health and financial goals! How can I help you?!

Also: great news! I made Success Club in my first month as a Beachbody coach! This means I am 1/9 of the way to earning the trip to DISNEYWORLD. I am so excited. I didn’t think it would be possible for me since I started so late, but I really wanted to earn this trip because Disneyworld has been at the top of my list for my next vacation. Now that I know it is possible I am so excited. I’m dreaming big… are you?! What is your “really big” dream?

Vacation Summary

 While I didn’t go to an exotic location this Spring Break, I did go to my parent’s house which poses its own unique challenges to my fitness plan/ diet. Before I left for their house I was pretty stressed. I was worried that after 45 days of success I would have to post that I took a whole week off! This seemed likely because in the past I would always bring all of my workout gear, tell my parents “I have to workout” and then maybe get one 15 minute workout in the entire week if I was lucky. So, I just wanted to summarize my successes and what I could have improved on. (Notice I didn’t say failures, I am trying to completely change my mindset from failures to things that could be improved next time, because I believe if you are doing your best, and trying, there are no failures).

Successes:

I worked out everyday, although I did change my schedule a little bit to suit my needs. Still, I think it worked out for the best, because I changed my schedule to workout with others and I think this really took me to the next level! It is so helpful to workout with someone else, because it really pushes you to work harder. Now I wish I had this at home. I may have to start a Fit Club just to get this benefit! ( A Fit Club is a free event where you get to do one of the Beachbody workouts).

Why was I successful this time, when I have never been successful before? Because I had a plan, I had my goals clearly defined and I had the accountability that Beachbody provides. I would love to help you with these three steps, so if you would like my help email me (starfishcoco@beachbodycoach.com) or check out my Facebook page.

I drank my Shakeology everyday. I wasn’t sure I would be able to resist free food from my parents to drink my nutrient-packed Shakeology, but I succeeded! It helped that family loved Shakeology so much that they bought packets from me to tide them over until their shipment came in! And it helps that I can’t resist my guilt-free chocolate milkshake. Here is a recipe for the one I enjoyed on Monday:

                  Guilt-free Chocolate covered blueberry!

 Chocolate covered blueberry:

1 serving chocolate Shakeology (140 cal)

½ cup soy milk (50 cal)

1 cup water

¾ cup ice

2/3 cup frozen blueberries (70 cal)

A delicious, nutrient-packed milkshake for 260 calories: yum! This picture only shows half of the shake, I had two big glasses of milkshake.To order Shakeology click here.

Needs improvement:

My diet! Okay, my diet needs improvement anyways (baby steps!), but I really struggled at my parent’s house. They have all sorts of snacks I never buy for myself so I just wanted to try everything (and I just about did that!). So, diet tip #1: if you don’t want to eat it, don’t buy it for yourself. I can’t resist food if it is all ready for me in the pantry! I mean geez… I wouldn’t want to waste it... right?! Also, I ate way more dairy than I normally do which really lowered my energy level and made me feel a bit sick. Luckily, my parents bought soy milk just for me. Aren’t parents the best?!

 I am proud that I went out to restaurants and tried to make the healthy choice.  My friend and I even resisted a free dessert! I never turn down free! (Thanks M for keeping me strong!) But last night I made a rookie mistake and forgot to order my dressing on the side. Doh! I completely intended to do that, but by the time we ordered I was so hungry that I forgot! The middle of my salad was drenched in dressing. I just had to push that part to the side. I still don’t understand why restaurants use so much dressing! I wish they would use a little and give you some on the side if you wanted more. So, diet tip #2: order your dressing on the side! I doubt you will ever use as much as the restaurants use!

My little brother decided to give Brazil Butt Lift a try!

This is what happens when I leave my Brazil Butt Lift playing... my little brother decides to give it a try! Future Beachbody trainer???....


Click here to learn more about Brazil Butt Lift! I love this program. I tried it on Sunday and my legs are still sore today (Tuesday)!

Why I love being a coach!

           I know many people are confused about why I have become a Beachbody coach so I just wanted to fully explain why I have made this decision and why I am happy with my choice.

I started to consider becoming a coach when I decided I wanted to buy Brazil Butt Lift and try Shakeology. I realized that if I bought a Challenge Pack with these two items I would SAVE money and my initial coach fees ($40) would be covered. So, I thought that I could just try being a coach and cancel before I get charged ($15) for the next month.

I understand why people are skeptical. At first glance this business may seem pretty impossible. For most people what I will be selling them is accountability (through the challenge groups) and change. I know change is tough for most people (trust me, I’ve been there). So, at first glance it seems like it doesn’t make any sense why I chose such a tough product to sell. I sometimes worry that people think I am pushing my product on them, and I promise you, that is never my intention. I truly just want to help others live healthier lives. I have some friends that aren’t interested in the workout programs but they told me I have motivated them to start exercising more, and that has made me SO happy. I have always wanted to help people get in better shape and now that I have the tools to do so I feel like this is something I should have been doing for years. It is so rewarding just to have one person say that you have helped to motivate them. And I love getting paid to help people!

Now that I have become an active coach I really can’t picture my life without it. I am now more motivated to exercise and eat healthy than I have been in my entire life (okay… I think I felt more of a desire to workout when I was doing chemo and couldn’t workout). Just obtaining that motivation to live healthier is worth $15 a month to me. I now feel like I have to workout, because I don’t want to have to post about missing a workout! And my mindset has completely changed. I no longer feel like I am forcing myself to workout everyday, I now feel like I am challenging myself (and it has felt great to succeed so far!).

My life has been so consumed by dental school for the past three years that it feels incredible to find something outside of dental school to focus on. I love that through my team I have found new friends that are outside of dental school. And I have challenged myself to work outside of my comfort zone. Also, since I have been exercising everyday I feel so much better. In dentistry you there are times when you have to put your neck in all sorts of terrible positions to see what you are doing. Since I have started doing yoga and back strengthening exercises I have noticed that I have not had any neck or back pain, which is amazing!

 I think I know why my back has stopped hurting!             

                                Thank you p90x! 

The other benefit I love is that since I have been exercising and have found a new hobby (coaching) my anxiety has really decreased. Seriously, I am normally a tightly wound ball of stress, often for no reason at all. And I wouldn’t have thought it possible 50 days ago but my anxiety has significantly decreased. I would say my anxiety has decreased by about 80%, which is amazing! This has even made my experience at dental school better because I am more relaxed around my patients and I don’t let things bother me that are outside of my control. I don’t know how to describe it other than to say that I  feel like I am now the person I was always meant to be.

         My active coach pin! So excited! Next stop emerald!

           So, I know many people question me doing this because it may not work out (get it?). But why would I let that bother me? As George from Arrested Development said, “There is always money in the banana stand!” 

Interested in being a coach?! Ask me how! Or email me at: starfishcoco@beachbodycoach.com

Day 45 DONE…I’m halfway there!

I am so proud of myself for not missing a single workout, especially during finals week! Normally I don’t stress about missing a workout during finals week, but it was really nice to exercise during finals week. It gave me more energy and a much needed break from studying! Now that I am halfway to being a p90x grad I wanted to do a “progress check”.

What I think I am doing well:

1. Improving my diet. Shakeology has really helped me improve my diet. I can tell that I have more energy, because I am getting the nutrients my body needs! The chocolate flavor tastes like a chocolate milkshake so it really helps with my sweet tooth! (I have a weakness for candy)! Also, I have been going to my local co-op more frequently to buy vegetables and making food with more vegetables. Click here to learn more about Shakeology! 
2.  Not missing a single workout! I am so proud of myself! Even when I was exhausted last night from a week of finals I still my back/biceps workout AND Ab Ripper X! Having the support of my Beachbody crew has helped me so much. This would not have been possible a few months before. If you would like this support from me click here and message me saying that you would like me to be your coach!

 My chocolate Shakeology milkshake! I just blend 1/2 cup soymilk, a cup of water and ice with my chocolate Shakeology. Only 200 calories! Yum! 

Things I would like to improve over the next 45 days:

1. I would like to keep improving my diet. Finals week was rough… many Goldfish crackers were consumed in the attempt to pass my classes! At one point I even begged my boyfriend to go to the store and get me some chewy candy (rock bottom?...). Luckily (for my diet) he was sick and couldn’t go to the store.
2. Lately I have been getting in the bad habit of pausing my workouts. Obviously if you need to pause the workouts there is nothing wrong with that! However, I have been pausing my workout videos frequently even though I don’t “need” to, because I’ll get a text message or I’ll remember I need to email someone or I’ll remember I need to do something else. I need to stop doing this because I know I will get a better workout (and better results!)  if I don’t take any extra breaks. So, maybe I will keep a notepad next to me when I exercise and if I think of anything I need to do I will write it down.

 Here are my progress photos. I can see an improvement in my abs and thighs. Over the next 45 days I would like to see more improvement in my thighs, because that is my trouble area!

So, I have a few questions for everyone:

What have you been doing well with your fitness plan?

What would you like to improve?

If you need any help and would like a coach I would love to be there for you!

Losing my Hair Part III

Why did I post this on my health and fitness page?

 Because self image is a very important part of overall wellness and after I went bald I just stopped caring about the way I looked in all aspects of my life. I actually think I made a pretty cute bald chick. However, the person looking back at me in the mirror just didn’t match the image I had in my head of what I would look like at 23. So, I dealt with that by just caring very little about my image. Since I gained weight during my chemotherapy (more on this later) this had a cumulating effect on my apathetic self image. Over the past two years I have worked out in “spurts” but I would get discouraged easily if I did not see results because I did not have a clear goal in my mind of the results I wanted to see (and I did not have the support system I have now!). Basically, I posted this because I wanted people to know that I have had struggles in my life too, but I wouldn’t be the person I am today without them. Also, I wanted to bring awareness to the fact that young people get cancer too!

This was at my birthday right before the cancer tornado came into my life... Look how long my hair was! I am so glad I had a beer and a fatty hamburger because both of those were "no-nos" during treatment.

Why did I want to wear a wig?

Before cancer I had always been a healthy person so I just did not want strangers who see me to immediately assume something was going on with me. I did not want people to think about cancer every time they saw me. I wanted people to see me and not my cancer. Also, I was taking some pretty strong antibiotics that made my skin VERY sensitive to the sun so I did not feel like putting sunscreen on my bald head every morning. I originally planned to switch out the wigs because I really thought everyone in my school would know anyways, but I soon discovered that they didn’t and I was perfectly fine with that.  So, just for fun, here are some pictures from the wig photo shoot my Mom and I had. My Mom changed my makeup for each different look.

Wig #1 Short blonde hair

Wig #2 Brown hair.

Wig #3 Red hair!

 Any questions or comments? Just send me a message on Facebook by clicking here!

Fit Club

I am so excited to host my first Fit Club on the 25^th. We will be working out to Brazil Butt Lift and sampling Shakeology! Do you think a Fit Club would be fun? Let me know! 

 

            This is me after trying the Brazil Butt Lift cardio workout. Whew... what a workout!

Finding the Balance

As I draw nearer to finals week I have been reflecting on how to find the balance in my life. I’ve been thinking about this, because I need to stick to my workout plan, but I also need to pass all of my finals. So, I have been trying to brainstorm ways to stay on top of both. I think I am going to have to create a schedule for myself and daily goals. This does not sound like fun to me, so I think I will also pick rewards for myself. I will also need to continue to drink my Shakeology and not fall into finals week eating habits of the past (pounds of gummy bears!) I am going to have to be much more productive and efficient with my time than I normally am (sorry Facebook).

As I have been thinking about balance in my life I have been thinking about something I have wanted to start up again but just haven’t found the time to do so; drawing. I know for many people they are in this situation about working out. Drawing is similar to working out for me. It’s frustrating in the beginning because you don’t see any results and you aren’t sure what the final product will look like. But, that’s what I loved about drawing! All of that frustration finally led to a product I could be proud of! Also, like working out, I need a high level of motivation to get started. In the past I took a drawing class and my motivation was not failing the class! And I was motivated to do better so my peers would think better of my work. The same thing went for exercising, I was not motivated to workout until I found my Beachbody support system and I wanted to do better so they could be impressed by my results. So, I think I need a Challenge Group for drawing (haha).

Just for fun here is a picture from my drawing class. We were given the open-ended topic of a dining scene and I decided to make a piece inspired by the Bad Religion song "Let Them Eat War"

So I have a few questions for everyone:

How do you find the balance in your life during weeks in which you will be very busy?

What have you been neglecting to do that you would really like to do?

Losing my Hair Part II

Part two

Making the Cut

I didn’t want to get my hair cut while I was busy with finals. So, I put this off until Summer Break when I could do this with my Mom. Luckily, I didn’t get any bald patches during this time; my hair just became very thin. I kept my hair tied up so it wouldn’t be as noticeable but by the start of Summer Break putting my hair up didn’t camouflage the fact that my hair had become very thin, (I am so thankful that my hair was able to last until finals were over!) So, I finally had to get my hair cut. Summer Break 2010!

I really thought I would start crying in the middle of the salon when I got my buzz cut. (I am a very emotional person and it really didn’t help that the stylist didn’t understand what was going on and tried to talk me out of it… telling me my hair was so pretty…). I was about to get upset when my Mom plopped my little brother on the chair next to me and had him get a buzz cut too. He looked so cute that this instantly cheered me up and I had fun with it. Moms always know what to do.  It was a huge relief to finally get this done, because I could now move on to the next stage in my journey. 

Little brother being brave for big sister!

What a cutie! .... geez I meant my little brother! ;)

Shakeology leaves me satisfied!

Apple Berry Shakeology

Here’s how I made it:

1 spliced apple

1 cup frozen berries

½ cup spinach

6-8 ice cubes

¼ cup soy milk

½ water

And of course… one packet of Tropical Strawberry Shakeology!

From my estimate it was about 350 calories.

I normally eat very frequently. I’m serious, I’ll have breakfast, (second breakfast…), and still be starving by the time I get to lunch! When I get hungry I start to feel shaky and cranky so I was worried that the low calories associated with Shakeology would leave me in a bad situation by mid-afternoon! So, for the past two days I have “experimented” by replacing a meal with Shakeology, but keeping emergency snacks in my backpack. Yesterday I replaced my breakfast and today I replaced my lunch with Shakeology. I am happy to report that I didn’t need my emergency snacks either day! Not bad for 350 calories! Buh-bye second breakfast! Shakeology didn’t make me feel full… it made me feel satisfied. It may be the placebo effect of telling myself that I won’t get hungry because I am giving my body what it needs… but hey! I’ll take that!

Here is a video with more information about Shakeology:

Click here to order Shakeology! Message me with any questions you have about Shakeology (and while you are at it, please "like" my page on Facebook!).

Here’s what I had for dinner:

Baked tilapia with green beans:

Ingredients:

Tilapia

Green beans

1 tsp Paprika

½ tsp Garlic powder

¼ tsp ground pepper

½ tsp thyme

Sprinkle with chili powder to taste.

1. Preheat oven to 375.
2. Grease a glass baking dish.
3. Place tilapia with frozen green beans in dish. Sprinkle with paprika, garlic powder, ground pepper, thyme, and chili powder. ( I could have added salt but I try to avoid that whenever possible!)
4. Cover and bake about 25 minutes. The fish will be ready when it flakes easily with a fork. Enjoy!

Military Discount!

Interested in coaching? Did you know that Beachbody offers FREE coaching for Active Military (or their spouse)! I think this is a really great (and well deserved!) discount. Your start up fees ($39.95) and monthly fees ($14.95/month) are waived. Message me to find out how you can enjoy the 25% discount!

Ten easy ways to add exercise to your day

I’m assuming some people read my blog and think “p90x sounds awesome but I don’t have an hour a day to workout!” (I’ll be honest… it seemed impossible to me at first but now I look forward to it!) Until you are ready to start an hour long nightly workout program here are ten tips to add exercise into your life everyday!

1. Park far away from the store. Why waste time looking for a parking spot when you could park in the back of the lot and get some exercise (unless it is late at night… creepy). And leave the cart at the store and carry your bags to your car (this is for small shopping trips).
2. Get off the bus one stop earlier. Take time to decompress after a long day by making your walk home a little longer.
3. Take the stairs. Okay, I know you have heard this before but make it fun. Like Thursday Stair Day, or one day always take the stairs down and another day take the stairs up!
4. When you go to check the mail walk around the block.
5. Take a commercial exercise break. During the commercial breaks of your favorite show get some exercise! Do some crunches, pushups, jumping jacks or any other exercise that you enjoy doing.
6. Tighten and hold your abdominal muscles at every red light.
7. Walk to the grocery store. OR if you are planning to get fast food make yourself work for it by walking to the fast food restaurant.
8. Walk while you talk. If you are about to start a long conversation walk around while you talk and burn some calories while you are at it!
9. Work for your dessert! If you are going to have dessert work for it by eating it while standing up and doing calf raises. Okay, I know I am stretching it a bit here but the point is to make an effort to think about ways that will work for you to add exercise to your daily routine!
10. Start using Tony Horton’s 10 minute trainer. Tony kicks my butt everyday with his p90x workouts so I know he will deliver with these ten minute workouts. It may not seem like much but if you aren’t exercising at all right now ten minutes every day is an improvement! And you can't tell me that you don't have ten minutes to workout!

                                          Click here to order Tony Horton's 10 minute workout!

Cajun Broccoli Shrimp

I love making easy recipes that use a bunch of vegetables. This recipe has become a “Staple Meal” at my house. Seriously, my boyfriend asks for it about three times a week!

Cajun Broccoli Shrimp

1 tsp olive oil

1 tbsp paprika

1 tsp thyme

½ tsp salt

½ tsp garlic powder

¼ nutmeg

One bag of frozen broccoli (or MORE!)

14 frozen shrimp

1. Add oil to pan and heat over medium heat.
2. Add spices to pan and stir them together.

                                                I normally fill my pan with broccoli!
 3. Add broccoli to pan and sauté until the broccoli is cooked through.
4. Add shrimp to pan (I normally like to add more of the spices on top of the shrimp.)  Sauté until the shrimp is done (normally when the shrimp turns pink).
5. Enjoy!

Progress photos

I promised some people I would post some progress photos so here they are! Since I didn’t think I would finish p90x this time I didn’t take “start” photos. So, the only photos I have are from the first time I started p90x. Sorry! But since I only did about three weeks my body really didn’t change all that much. Learn from my mistake! Always take start photos!

So, here is the “code” for this photo set. Black arrows are where I see improvement and the green arrow is where I would like to see more improvement. (I am happy with my body, but pointing out where I would like to improve motivates me to workout!).

                                  9/2011 to day 33
Now that I have my Shakeology I am going to change my diet so it fits the p90x plan and I believe that will help me see more improvements next time. I will keep you all posted!

Interested in Shakeology but worried you won’t like it? Remember Beachbody is so confident you will like it that they offer the “Bottom-of the Bag” guarantee. So, you can try it for thirty days and if you don’t like it for any reason return it and Beachbody will refund your money (minus S&H). Click here to learn more about Shakeology.

Let's find a program that is right for you!

When I started p90x for the second time I wasn’t sure I would actually finish it. I basically started with the mentality that “ I will get as far as I can.” Then, I discovered the Beachbody support community and everything changed (Click here if you would like me to provide you with support by being your personal Beachbody coach). I went from “I hope I can finish p90x” to “I can’t wait until I finish p90x so I can start my next exercise program”. I did not realize how much of a difference accountability would make for me!

I already have my next two programs picked out! 

  I can't wait to start this program! Click here to order it!

Which brings me to my next point, Beachbody is more than just p90x. Beachbody has many programs available to fit all ages and levels of fitness. I say this because many people may think p90x is not right for them. That is completely fine! If you answer the following questions we can find a program that is right for you:

-How much time are you willing to commit to working out each day?

-How many days would you like your program to last? 30? 60? 90?

-What is your current fitness level? Beginner? Intermediate?   Advanced?

-Would you like total body results or would you like to focus on a specific area?

-What results would you like? Build muscle? Lose weight? 

Message me with your answers and together we will find a program that is right for you!